Goodbye Reprise
by Rb
Summary: The hardest thing is saying goodbye to someone you love...(slight shoujo ai/angst/semi-cliche ^_^;)


This fic was originally written by Miriya-san, but due to a 'Fishbowl' challenge on the CFFML, I was given the opportunity to rewrite it. ^_^ The characters are from CLAMP, the plot was from Miriya-san, and I had permission from the latter but not the former to write this. Some shoujo ai, but nothing explicit -- if you don't know what the term means, you probably won't be offended by it. 

Goodbye (Reprise)  
originally by Miriya  
rewritten by Rb

I should have known something was wrong when she called.  
  
When we were children, we saw each other nearly every day, we'd talk for hours about nothing at all...but now we're adults, and it's not the same anymore. We're still close, but there's distance between us now. Sakura-chan got married to Li-kun, of course, and I inheirited Daidouji Corporations when my mother retired a few years ago. We're different people now, and things aren't the same as when we were younger.   
  
We see each other every so often -- we go out to get coffee, or Li-kun escorts us to a theater performance. I'm not lonely -- not that lonely -- not lonely at all, I have work. I wish Sakura-chan had children, though -- she'd be such a wonderful mother, and it would be so lovely for Sakura-chan to have cute daughters, and I could make clothing for them and spoil them with toys, and I could come over and watch them, and Sakura-chan and I would talk while her cute children played...  
  
She called me at work, something she never does. Her voice was tired. "Tomoyo-chan," she said. "Please come over."  
  
"Of course, Sakura-chan," I said instantly, not asking why. I left work early -- I'll make it up some other time. Sakura-chan needs me, so I'll go to her without a second thought.  
  
I still love her.  
  
It's raining; I'd run to Sakura-chan's house to escape it, but a woman of my age and class doesn't do such a thing. Sakura-chan would always be running. I walk quickly down the familiar streets; Sakura-chan and Li-kun still live in Sakura-chan's father's house, inheiriting it when Kinomoto-san died. I've been down these streets so many times for so many years.   
  
I knock on the door, and it opens automatically. I walk in and quickly slip off my shoes. "Sakura-chan?"  
  
"I'm in the kitchen, Tomoyo-chan." Her quiet voice summons me, and I follow -- I walk into the kitchen. Sakura-chan is sitting at the table, a cup of steaming tea in front of her, another place identically set from across from her.  
  
I'm worried -- she doesn't look up, but I can tell from the set of her shoulders that she's not well. "Sakura-chan? Are you all right?"   
  
She doesn't look up, and her shoulders sag a little more. She looks so very, very tiredit's not right. Sakura-chan is *always* full of energy, always smiling and laughing   
  
"Please drink." Her voice is nearly a whisper, her skin is pale and waxy. It's not supposed to be this way. She lifts her head and looks at me, and I'm even more worried than ever. Her eyes look pale and lusterless, with huge circles underneath. They've never looked that way before.  
  
"What's wrong?" I ask, as I lift up the cup of tea and drink. It's very good.   
  
"Syaoran's in Hong Kong..."  
  
"Hai" But it isn't that; even though they're married, he's always running off to Hong Kong, his mother is just that way. Maybe I should be more diect. "You look sick, Sakura-chan. Can I help?"   
  
She sighs and avoids my eyes. I notice that her hand is trembling, and a lump starts growing in the back of my throat. Sakura-chan, *my* Sakura-chan shouldn't be like this. Her green eyes shouldn't be this dull and hopeless. "Just...Tomoyo-chan..."  
  
This is not like my Sakura-chan, not at all.   
  
There's an uneasy moment of silence. Then she coughs quietly, shattering it. "Do you remember why your mother hated my dad so much?"   
  
I don't even need to think about it as the answer falls from my lips. "Nadeshiko-sanshe blamed him for Nadeshiko-san's death"   
  
She nods weakly, and grips her teacup with one hand. "But it wasn't Daddy's faultMama was happy, with him. I know she was. He didn't -- didn't cause it."   
  
I wonder why she called me out here to talk about those things. I'm afraid, something which has never come easily to me. What's wrong with her? Why is she talking like this? "What are you getting at, Sakura-chan? What's wrong?"   
  
She looks at me again, her eyes brimming with tears. She is so beautiful, with the same transluscent fragility Nadeshiko-san always had. "Please, Tomoyo-chan, don't hate Syaoranit's not his fault"   
  
Understanding wrenches through me.  
  
No.   
  
No!  
  
"Sakura-chanyou're not serious..." I capture both her hands in my own, realizing with a sickening wrench that I can see every vein in her bony arm. "Sakura-chan"   
  
"I'm sorry, Tomoyo-chanI don't want to make you sad. But Syaoran isn't hereI'm sorry I'm being selfish, but"  
  
I can't help the tears; Sakura-chan looks so helpless now. "H-how do you know?"   
  
She breaths shallowly, closing her eyes; don't close your eyes, Sakura-chan, I want to see you, I want you to see me "Ijust know. My mother died before meand her mother before her"   
  
"You won't die, Sakura-chan. I'll take care of you -- I won't let you -- Sakura-chan!."   
  
She smiles faintly. Why does that make me want to cry more? "Tomoyo-chan. It's all right. I'm sorry I can't stay for you, but... I'm so tired"   
  
I want to hug her, to hold her, to never let her go. Sakura-chan thinks -- knows -- she's going to die. I won't let Death take her...  
  
But what can I do? I'm always so helpless; all I can do is watch her. When she was a Cardcaptor, I was only able to record her battles, only a bystander as she went into danger. I couldn't do anything as Syaoran swept her away   
  
I can't do anything now.   
  
Always, /always/helpless.   
  
"Please don't be sad, Tomoyo-chan"   
  
"What about the Cards?"  
  
She takes in a deep breath, and then slowly exhales it. "They'll be reborn, for another generation. I've made those preparations already..."  
  
"Yue? Kero-chan?"  
  
"I've already said goodbye to them."  
  
I swallow, and say the name that pains me most. "Li-kun?"  
  
At his name, the tears finally spill. "I want you...I need you to be with me as I say goodbye to him."  
  
My heart breaks. Always, always, Sakura-chan, I'll do anything for you...  
  
Her eyes flicker shut, it's almost as if she's too tired to keep them open anymore. "Sakura-chan?" I'm overwhelmed by a sudden panic   
  
"Help me to my room," she says, and I have to agree.  
  
The trip up the stairs, her hand on my arm, is the most painful walk I've ever taken. I remember another walk we took together, in a dark cave, her hand on my arm, me supporting her because she was too scared to walk alone...then I don't remember what happened, but I know Sakura-chan does, and that's what's always mattered to me.  
  
She lies down on her bed and I sit next to her. I dial the numbers for her; she's too weak to press them herself. She speaks quietly into the phone; I try not to hear her whispered words. I don't want to be jealous in these last few minutes. Instead, I imagine Li-kun's shock, his anger, his sorrow...and I can't be jealous anymore, because I know that he, too, loves Sakura-chan, and he'll miss her as much as I will.  
  
She hangs up the phone. I grab her hand again. I feel as if her cold white flesh is melting away, into spirit...not yet, not yet, this is too soon, too sudden!  
  
She tries to smile, but Sakura-chan could never hide her feelings well. I know how she's holding back tears. "Tell everyone" she says in a labored whisper. "Tell everyone...I love them all. Very much. And Tomoyo-chan...I love you, too, Tomoyo-chanso don't be sad...please, smile for me."   
  
I smile. I have to. Sakura-chan wants it so. "Sakura-chanSakura-chan!" In silent agony, I clutch her hand even more tightly. Sakura-chan, don't leave mewe need you, I need you, Sakura-chan...  
  
"Goodbye."   
  
I close my eyes, but the tears fall down anyway, onto her cold body and the bed beneath us. I want this all to be a horrible dream...But I know, deep within myself, when I open my eyes, she won't be there. She won't be Sakura-chanmy Sakura-chan...   
  
Her eyes are open but vacant: she's smiling peacefully.   
  
Sakura-chanshe's gone.   
  
I don't let go. My hand is frozen in place, clasped around hers. I don't want to let go. I don't want to let go.   
  
I won't let go.  
  
  
  



End file.
